1. I stopped eating eggs last year after Patricia told me that chickens don't have vaginas. How do chickens lay eggs, you ask? Well, you know when you go to a farmer's market to buy farm-fresh eggs, and sometimes there's dirt on them? That's not dirt.
2. There's a young man who works at Blowers Street Paper Chase who looks like the Predator. He frightens me a little.
3. I hate being called Beverly, even though that's my name. Women call me that to be playful or coquettish or something. Just pisses me off. So, ladies, from here on, please call me, "Hmm. Bev!" In fact, you can call me that as often and as slowly as you wish. Starting now. If you want to practice at 3 o'clock in the morning, that's ok. I'm in the book.
4. My parents named me "Beverly", even though that is the female version of the name. It should have been "Beverley". I am scouting around for a sub-par nursing home for them.
5. I have to wash my dishes tomorrow. Once a week, whether I need to or not.
6. I have poor counting skills.