I work with a lovely woman named Moe. She is a huge, huge fan of the Nascar driver Tony Stewart. You can ask her why.
Moe is about to retire, and we will all miss her. I thought it would be nice if I poked a little gentle fun at Moe, and that's where you, my legions of readers, come in.
Lately, I have taken to making gentle digs at Tony Stewart. Stuff like, "I heard that Tony Stewart fed heroin to a bus load of school children the other day, and then drove them off a cliff". Or: "I understand that Tony Stewart was helping an old lady cross the street the other day. Then, he tripped her, and she got run over." Stuff like that.
I can't think of these nasty things every day, people. It is not in my nature. I'm not saying it is in yours, either, but perhaps if we all work together, we can each conjure up something inappropriate to say regarding this alternate-universe Tony Stewart that I can say in passing to Moe, just to brighten up her day in the weeks leading up to her official retirement.
I know you can do this. I know it.
The most disgusting, most vile, alternate-universe Tony Stewart comment will win a special prize. I am not sure what it will be yet. I will repeat these things to Moe. Whatever she thinks is the worst, wins.
Enter now. Enter often. Contest ends on May 15th, 2009 at 11:59pm E.T.
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