Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Post 1104 - Stupid Things Bevboy Has Done, Part 6

Welcome to the sixth instalment of my irregularly-published feature on Bevboy's Blog: Stupid Things Bevboy Has Done, or STBHD for short. This series is all about dumb things I have done over the many years of my life, or the dumb things I have had done to me. The net result is my feeling, well, stupid. The more embarrassing, the more humiliating, the better. Because, you know, I'll never seek public office or anything like that. Or be a success. Who needs that?

This time, as I alluded to way back in post 1020, involves checking my front and my back.

Let me explain.

I was 5 years old. I was in Grade Primary. My teacher was named... frig, I forget her name. It was a long time ago. I'm just glad I didn't have the other Grade Primary teacher. She used to beat students if they used any crayons or coloured pencils that were purple. Just scream at them like they were the spawn of the devil or something.


One day in class, my teacher beckoned to me. "Come up here, Bev". I had a .... crush on her, I guess.

I walked proudly up to the front of the room. She smiled at me. "Check your fly", she said.


Sure enough.

The trap door was open. I was embarrassed before I knew what the word even meant!

The sequel was many years later.

I was working for another government department. I have written of that department other times and won't revisit it now.

I went to the washroom. Did what I had to do. Washed up. Exited.

"Bev, what's that?", I heard a co-worker ask?

"What are you talking about, Rob?"

"Check behind you."

I did. There was a.,..

Oh, frig!

... a trail of toilet paper behind me!

I hadn't been,.. careful enough.

These types of mistakes can wound a person's psyche to the point where he doesn't want to leave the house. He can choose to go home, lock the door, and never leave. Or he can laugh at himself and go on.

Ha ha.

Ever since I've been 5, I've exercised an abundance of caution to make sure that all was secure in front. Since I was 40, I have checked the rear in the washroom mirror just before I exit. Just in case. Because you never know what might be following you out the door.

It's the least my family, co-workers, school mates, and friends can expect.

Next time An ill-timed phone call.



Unknown said...

been there done that.... funny! now that you check the front and back ... whats left?

Bevboy said...

Top and bottom. Left and right.