Many years ago, I had a job working for a consulting company. Said company was going through a major re-org, which would result in the company's being purchased by another company. It's a long, sordid tale, and I don't want to bore you with it.
Anyway, the then-current owner of the company, who went on to own, and then sell, The Ottawa Senators ice hockey team, promised all employees he would keep us informed as to the selling of the company he was trying to unload. He kept his promise. Hoo boy, did he ever! With every bi-weekly pay stub, there would be another update. The update ran along the lines of, "I have nothing to report this week". This went on for months, until someone quipped, "SHL Update #427. Frig you. The company hasn't been sold yet. Go ahead and borrow the keys to my Jag and take my daughter out on the town".
I feel a little like that now, except that I have no children and will never be ok'd for financing a Jaguar, and don't know if they even still make them. The person I've been visiting every day this week, multiple times, is still with us. There have been some small changes in his condition. Some are good. Most are not. The bad ones will get worse; and the good ones will become fewer and further between, probably sooner rather than later, until they reach their denouement.
This person means an awful lot to me, and is very close to me. I want to be with him during this final journey, until our ways must part, and he has to continue on the path by himself, as we all do when our time comes.
It just hurts so much.